Oh Goddammit!

The AP is reporting that Guillermo del Toro has quit working on the Hobbit movies. He's an awesome director and I'd have loved to see his versions of the dragon and trolls in the Lord of the Rings prequels.

RIP Dennis Hopper

Watch these commercials:






Now, I generally hate commercials, but these were brilliant. As was pointed out by the wwtdd writer, Dennis Hopper was better in these commercials than most actors are in movies or tv. He was truly an original and the world is less interesting now that he's gone.

Other People Watching Sports

Last night there was a big basketball match between the local Celtics squad and a team from some other part of the country. Orlando? I'm going with Orlando. My roommate had informed me he would be having some friends over to watch the game and hang out. Growing up in New England, I know my average sportsfan, but it's been a long time since I've observed them in their natural habitat. Also, I haven't actually watched a sporting event in a long time. I don't hate sports, I just really don't care. I've been to games for all of Boston's big teams and had some good times at them (the last baseball game I was at was Lester's no hitter, so that was pretty special), it's just that over the years I've chosen to focus my attention on other things.

So, right off the bat (ha!), Peter get's a call from one of his friends informing him that he will only come over if it's guaranteed that every second of the game will be watched. No changing the channel to check something real quick, no turning down the volume while something is discussed. Basically total basketball focus or he won't come over. It was at this time that I attempted to convince everyone who was already there to tell him that we agree to this but then switch to a Bugs Bunny cartoon as soon as he arrived. I was unsuccessful, but you know that would've been hilarious. This is the kind of person I'm dealing with. And I dealt with it by getting gloriously drunk on vodka.

So I watched people watch the game, occasionally asking insightful questions like "OH MY GOD, how is this game still going on?" and receiving answers like "Dude, it's not even half time." People argued about which player is better and ate pizza and nothing exciting really happened. That's the important part. Nothing exciting happened. Remember the kid who demanded we watch every second? Turns out it didn't matter. The Celtics scored first, jumped out to an early 2-0 lead and never fell behind. The other guys never even got close, and it was dreadfully boring. There was never any suspense, no drama. Even if I liked basketball, I can't tell you that I would enjoy watching a game. Maybe just the highlights on the news or sportcenter or something. Actually, yeah, that's what I'd do. To put it in movie terms for myself, I guess it seems like a Michael Bay movie- tons of boring crap with the occasional cool explosion. Just string the explosions together and I'll watch that, I don't care about Shia LeBouf's story arc. Fortunately, last night's victory guarantees a whole new set of games for me to not be interested in.

The Road

Hey everybody! So I watched "The Road" last night and it was fucking incredible. It's based on the Pulitzer Prize winning novel by Cormac McCarthy, so that's something. It's just about the most depressing thing I've ever seen, and I've seen a guy in a bear costume sit on the curb and cry. So think about that. Think about how depressing I must think this movie is.

Exactly.

Seriously, Viggo Mortensen is an amazing actor and I can't imagine a better choice for the lead in this one. He's prettymuch neck and neck with Daniel Day Lewis for the title of best ever (yes, I think they're both better than Brando, deal with it). The directing was great, even with the choice to add Charlize Theron as a character (I didn't love the idea, but I understand it. Adding a character he can flash back on and have conversations with is better than constant narration. As much as I complain when novels are altered for the screen, I have to admit that translating from one media to the other does pose problems and this is one of the rare instances where they got it as right as they could). So, if you're in the mood for a depressing, post apocalyptic father and son survival epic, this is your movie.

Clean Out The DVR Day

Monday is usually Clean out the DVR day here in my underground headquarters. Today I watched the Simpsons, Parks & Rec and this new show on Fox called the Good Guys.

The Simpsons was pretty good, it was a Moe episode. Moe is the best character on the Simpsons that isn't named Homer Simpson, so it had that going for it. The worst character on the Simpsons is Lisa. Every time they air a Lisa episode Satan prank calls your Grandmother, so think about that.

Parks & Rec is awesome, but it wasn't my favorite. Here's my problem: I am sort of in love with Aubrey Plaza's character April, but a big part of this season is how her and the stupid guy like each other. She's always looking at him in that way girls do on tv shows. That guy sucks. So, the show was funny but they sort of got together so it was also heartbreaking. If you're me.

I'm watching the Good Guys right now. I had really high hopes since I first learned about it 3 days ago. It stars Colin Hanks, who is Tom Hanks' son. Who cares, right? But it's also got Bradley Whitford. He was on the West Wing, and he was great in every episode (especially the one where he was hungover and he meets Joey Lucas for the first time). Turns out that if you're awesome on one show, it doesn't mean you'll be automatically awesome on another. I don't think it's entirely his fault, but he should have turned down the job. The show is a wacky, mismatched cop show. Hanks is clean cut and by the book while Whitford is crazy and goes with his gut. Right off the bat we learn that BW's character likes clothes from the Beastie Boys "Sabotage" video and hates computers. I understand cop stories from 1993 that feature an older detective who hates and fears computers, but in 2010 that reall doesn't fly. Here's one back and forth they had:

Hanks: "I found this phone number on a piece of paper."
Whitford: "Great, I'll hit the streets, see if anybody recognizes it."
Hanks [sarcastically]: "Or I could just search it in the computer and we can find out right away."

How would that lack of knowledge be allowed? Oh. And then later there was a scene where a bad guy throws a knife at him and you think it hit him in the heart, except it didn't! It hit the booze flask in his breast pocket! I have never seen that happen in film or television history. Now who's being sarcastic, Colin Hanks? And tell your dad that Castaway sucks. Right now there is, I swear to God, a car chase with AC/DC's "Thunderstruck" playing in the background. Until this moment I wouldn't have thought that could be bad on any level, but they figured out how to ruin it. Don't bother watching the Good Guys.

Lost Series Finale

Hey kids!!!! I watched the Lost finale last night, then talked about it on Facebook and with my roommate until like 3 in the morning. I don't think I really want to blog about it right now, maybe later.

I will offer my favorite moment from the series. It's from the season 3 finale- Fed up with constantly being on the defensive, Sawyer kills Tom from the Others.

MacGruber

Hey kids! I just watched MacGruber, it was pretty funny. The bad guy's name is Cunth, so they keep saying things like "Let's pound some Cunth!" and stuff like that. It sounds like they're saying a grown-up word (cunt). There was other funny stuff too, but it's not like, the best comedy ever or anything. I'd say it falls somewhere between All the President's Men and the Original Pink Panther. Also, the explosions were pretty fake looking and Val Kilmer got fat.

Streets of Fire

Streets of Fire is the greatest movie ever made in the history of movies. It stars Michael Pare (the best awful actor ever) and eighteen year old Diane Lane (the hottest actress ever. Every movie should have eighteen year old Diane Lane as the female lead). There are some other people too. Willem Dafoe is the bad guy and Rick Moranis is in it. So is the wife from Field of Dreams, but she's kind of annoying.

The most important reason for the artistic success of Streets of Fire is the fact that it includes not one, but two Jim Steinman songs. That's right- two songs by songwriting legend Jim Steinman. "Nowhere Fast" and "Tonight Is What It Means To Be Young"- the best fist pumping songs since Journey's "Separate Ways".